When I watch you

When I watch you
I see
every breath
you take
in
and
out

When I watch you
I see a lifetime
of memories
love
struggles
challenges
healing
and rising from  
what felt like
our lowest
moments

When I watch you
my body feels
warm
loved
held
seen
and understood
in a way
that no one
has ever
understood me

When I watch you
I see our children
building their lives
out of strength
courage
love
and there you are
watching
because
you see it
too

When I watch you
I feel like
we’ve lived
a million lives together
each one
having an impact
on this one
teaching us
what
and who
to
value

When I watch you
I see
my heart
my soul
the most beautiful pain
the most joyous strength
the most gracious love
in the kindest person
the world
will ever know

When I watch you
I remember
that you have
held me
and loved me
through the screams
the tears
and the agony
of trying to accept
myself
and when
I crumbled
You picked up the pieces
of a broken little girl

When I watch you
my heart sings
because I get to live
this life
with you

I want to pick you up
put you in my pocket
and never
let anything
happen to you

I want to protect you
from your first breath
to your last
and make
everything better
but sometimes
I can’t

My love
I will always be
right here
next to you
holding your hand
waiting
until
you need me

I will always be
here
watching
over you

@Amberley Charlotte 11.23.22
Photo Cred: Candiix Pixabay

My Heart

I can’t leave you

My heart
My soul
My world

You hurt
I hurt

My chest
burns
My heart
skips

Holding my breath
waiting
for the other shoe
to fall

I have no answers
as to why

I feel helpless
watching you
suffer

At any
moment
life could
change

I can’t stop it
I can’t control it
I can’t fix it

My heart
My soul

Every piece of me
hurts
for every piece of you
that’s hurting

My world
My great love
My heart

©Amberley Charlotte 11.23.22
Photo Cred: Ashley Levinson

Let Me Be A Bridge

I am blessed to have many beautiful souls who inspire me.
This poem paints a beautiful picture of what I yearn for, who I am,
and who I want to be.

Thank you Divine one for the gift of this journey.
I am forever grateful.

Let Me Be A Bridge

Let me be hope
Let me be light
Let me be a bridge
to healing, love, comfort, and acceptance

Let me hold the hands
of those who are hurting

Let me guide the souls
to their loved ones

Let me love
always

Let me shine
forever

Let me
Oh Divine one

Let me
be of service


Amberley Charlotte ©2022
Photo: Larisa K

20 Years Cancer Free

Twenty years ago today, I had my last chemotherapy session for a highly aggressive form of Triple Negative Breast Cancer, and they told me I was cancer free!

Because it was so aggressive and rare, there was no standard treatment plan. They said that had I waited to go to the Dr., I would have been dead in 6 months.

We decided on an aggressive surgical plan, and my oncologist gave me the chemo cocktail he hoped would help, and we waited.

I lived with the threat that it could come back at any time in the brain, liver, bones, or lungs.

There were always markers I needed to hit.
First, it was five years, then it was ten, and at ten years, they moved it again, saying this cancer is still rare, people are still dying, they still have no idea how I got it, and although they’re learning about it, now I needed to get to 20 years to really be free.

Along the way, there have been more tumors and multiple surgeries, all with a cancer scare, all coming back clear.

Anytime I tell a doctor I’ve beat this type of cancer, they look at me like I’m a ghost. When they gave me Covid vaccines, the nurses cried. They couldn’t believe I was still alive.

My blessed life is not lost on me. I am forever grateful for every struggle, every pain, and every gift of another day.

I still can’t believe I have this beautiful family. I’ve had so many wild and crazy experiences, extreme lows, and unbelievable highs, but here I am!

I made it to 20 freaking years, baby!!

So today, this is my gift to you.

Share your joy every day!

Focus on the light in your life, not the darkness.
There will be struggles, but right behind them are blessings.
Don’t quit 5 minutes before the miracle happens.

If you’re scared, cry it out.
If you need someone to talk to, reach out.
If you’re lost, write it out.
If panic sets in, wait it out. It will pass.
You will feel like shit in the process, but I guarantee you it will pass, and then reach out.

Find somebody to talk to.
Find somebody who will listen.
Find somebody you trust.
You don’t have to do this life alone.

We have no idea how long we’re here, but we can be a light in someone’s darkness, create a beautiful life for ourselves, stretch ourselves beyond our wildest capabilities, become who we never thought we could be, and experience life in ways we never thought possible.

At the end of the day, life is what we make it.
Our experiences make us who we are.
Our courage and strength help us survive it.

Life is hard.
But we are stronger.

Thank you, Divine Spirit, for giving me this time with my family.
I am asking for at least 35 more!

I promise I will make good use of the time and the lessons!

Blessings,

Amberley Charlotte

I Can Feel You Breathe

I can feel you breathe

Shivers up my spine
I gasp
then
sigh

It’s you

Your strength
when the wind
blows

Your power
when the rain
falls

Your roots
dig deep
into my soul

Grounding me
Comforting me
Empowering me

Energy rushing
through my veins

I’m beginning
to feel
alive
again

Life-giver
Oxygen supplier

Natures
shelter
protection
heart
and soul

Inhale
exhale
and again

I can feel you breathe


Amberley Charlotte ©2022
Photo: Stefan Keller Pics

A Journey

Hearts fluttering
Body tingling

Sunshine
warms
my soul

Heart-stopping

Out of body
looking through a
window

I’m chasing
you

I’ll find
you

I want
to be
here
forever

Heartwarming
Tingling legs

White light
carrys me home

Learn who you are
my child

See what we see

Open-hearted
Magical
Mystical
You

Amberley Charlotte ©2022
Photo: Stefan Widua

Seeking Me!

Wounded
Seeking peace
Seeking harmony
Seeking self

Lost
Wandering the caverns
of my heart
Seeking light
Seeking comfort

Seeking
Seeking
Seeking

A journey to my soul
Seeking courage
Seeking Hope
Seeking freedom

From all that weighs me down
From all the doubt
From all the fear
From all the uncertainty

Seeking honesty
Seeking truth
Seeking Me!

Amberley Charlotte @2022
Photo: Daniele Franchi

Only You!

Transformation
Growth
Change

Pruning a rosebush
Vine by vine
Petal by petal

Letting go
of what
doesn’t serve you

The weight of the world
is on your shoulders

Things you’ve been told
believing they were
there to protect you

Only to find
they kept you
from being
all you were meant
to be
and
all you were meant
to give
to this world

It’s time to
let it go

Life is a journey

The roads are
slippery
icy
and
unstable
at times

Some days you will wonder
how you’ll get through
the day

We hold our breath
and panic
waiting for the
next shoe to drop

We place things
people
and stuff
at the forefront
of our lives
labeling them as
comfort
and support
when really
were worried
to go at it alone

At a cellular level
we don’t believe
we’re capable
of doing it ourselves
so we reach for
comfort
to guide us
when we had
the answers
inside us
along

We live in
what if’s
and
should of’s

We don’t want to be wrong
We don’t want to make mistakes

We live as if
there’s some golden rule
and were getting it wrong

We feel like
contestants on a reality show
but no one tells us
how to play the game

We want a compass
a path
a direction

We need someone
to guide us
to tell us
everything will be OK
if we only do it
this way

But these people
don’t know
the inner workings
of our souls
our deepest fears
our strongest thoughts

What gets us up in the morning
and what keeps us going

Do you want a golden rule?
A path or direction?

Be kind
Be loving
Be considerate
Be compassionate
Be patient
to others and
to yourself

Shine a light
so bright
everyone who
looks at you
will need
sunglasses

Because
at the end of the day
no one knows you
like you do

No one can fix you
No one can heal you
No one can love you
No one can support you
No one can______
like you
can

Sometimes our heart
needs to break

Sometimes our lives
have to turn
upside down

Sometimes
we have to feel
out of control

In order to realize that
only we
can mend our broken hearts

Only we
can rebuild our lives

Only we
can love ourselves

Only we can get to a point
where the opinions of others
don’t matter anymore

But I am different
you say
I’m not like everyone else
If the world truly knew me
they wouldn’t accept me

No
You’re special
You’re wanted
You’re worthy
You light up a room

But the world can’t see that
because you
my friend
are afraid to shine

You are
afraid to sparkle

You are
afraid to let
them see
that you are
magical
majestic
and beautiful

The journey you are on
is courageous
important
necessary
and will
set you free

No matter how painful
No matter how hard

This is exactly
where you’re meant to be
right here
right now

Hold on, dear friend
The sun will shine again
Your heart sing again
Peace
Joy
and
love
will replace
confusion
overwhelm
and fear

Healing
Comfort
Support
and
Love
waits
for you

Trust in this journey
Trust yourself
Trust your intuition

All will be worth it
I promise


Amberley Charlotte @2022
Photo: Susan Del Moore

A Conversation with an Angel

We meet again
I’ve missed you

I’m sorry
I shut you out

You were there
when no one else was

I slammed the door
but you never left

You were always
watching over me

I was a child
I was scared

I grew up
closed my mind
and put my heart
under lock and key

I tried to protect myself
from the world around me
and locked you out

I never stopped loving you
I carried you
in my heart
every day

When I lost you
I became
a fragmented shell
of a person
drowning
in a sea of emptiness
wondering
if I’d ever find
my way back
to dry land

I tried to fill the holes
but the boat
kept taking on water
and pushing me  
farther and farther
out to sea

But you know this
you watched it happen

It had to happen

It’s the only way
I’d realize
I needed to
save myself

I was scared
of drowning

I was even more scared
of not living

The body will float
even if the soul dies

I was dead inside

My focus needed to shift
I needed to start
swimming

Only then would
I see the shore

Only then would
I place my feet
on solid ground

Only then could I
start the journey
home

Change is hard
Treading water is harder

It’s funny

We go through life
doing just enough
to survive

Then we realize
our soul is thirsty
starving in fact
and we want
more

But we’re too afraid
to feed it
to give it  
everything it needs
because that requires us
to change
and change is terrifying

We decide
inadvertently
to live a life
of regret

I remember what it felt like
knowing I might
die with regrets
and it was the
worst
feeling
ever

Thank you
for not giving up on me

Thank you
for waiting for me

I know this is
going to take time

But I will feed my soul
I will live my life’s purpose
I will learn life’s lessons
and when I leave this earth
I will leave without regrets
because the work
even though
it’s painful
is worth it

Thank you for loving me

Now it’s time
I do the same



Amberley Charlotte ©2022
Photo: Amberley Charlotte

TRUST

Trust

Seeing into your heart
Seeing into your soul

A wink from the universe

Warmth
Sun

A painted silhouette

Actions not words

A touch
that sends tingles
not fear

A sunset
The earth’s movement

Honesty

I can see it in your eyes
Don’t be afraid
it is you who
painted that picture

I’m just seeing
what you’re afraid
to show me

Connecting
Soul to soul
Heart to heart
Tear to tear

Can I trust you?
Can I trust myself?

Loving without embarrassment
Loving without fear
Loving without condemnation
Loving without question

Then loving enough
to let go

In weathering the storms
we trust

In seeking answers
we trust

In questioning life
we trust

We trust our hearts
We trust our abilities
We trust the universe
We trust ourselves

We trust our souls connection
The light
within us all

We trust
We love

We shine


Amberley Charlotte ©2022
Photo: Bessi