No one should cry alone

From my first breath
I knew

It was my job
to take care
of you

Hearing you cry
wiping your tears

With every meltdown
every crisis
every emergency

I was there
to take care
of you

The guilt I felt
for your loss
and your pain

It wasn’t my fault
I wasn’t to blame

But every moment
every fear

I was there
to take care
of you

Soon I accepted
my place in this world
my value
my reality
my worth

And in my life
with every meltdown
every crisis
every emergency

I’ve been there
to take care
of everyone else

Because no one
should cry alone

Soon I had my own kids
my own family
my own life

And it became
an honor
a blessing
my job

To wipe their tears
comfort their fears
and take care
of them

Why am I still feeling guilty?

It wasn’t my fault
I wasn’t to blame

And yet my life
is the same

Without a crisis
a moment
a fear
an emergency
a meltdown
a tear

I ask
Who am I?

I was a child
you were
my parents

I was a child
I was your therapist
You were my clients

I was a teenager
You were my children

I was a child
with no time
to be a child

With no one to
show me the way
to guide me
to teach me
to hold me

And now
with every crisis
every fear
every emergency
every tear

I am there
to take care
of everyone

Because no one
should cry alone

As I sit here
crying alone


Amberley Charlotte ©4.26.23
Photo Cred: https://unsplash.com/@spce

Their Storms

Their Storms

Piece by piece
Storm by storm
Moment by moment

Their pain
suffering
and
wounded hearts

Break me
strangle me
and
cut off
my oxygen supply

My heart aches
My body is sore

Dropping to my knees
in prayer

It’s too much

Too many
are hurting

I can’t just hold
the umbrella
in their storm
or
keep their secrets

Band-Aids
Flowers
Chocolate
or balloons

Will not heal
their pain

I agonize over
How to help
How to support
How to love
How to fix it

And I can’t
but I want to

Because
I love them


Amberley Charlotte ©2023
Photo Cred: Sean Pierce
https://unsplash.com/@prevailz

Broken Glass

Broken
Uncertain
Scared

Listening
to the voices
in my head

But they’re not mine
and although
they don’t matter

They matter

I love it
I hate it
It soothes me
It tortures me

I can’t live without it

Writing is like
broken glass

Dark
with sharp edges

Until the light shines through
proving there is hope
even in the darkest moments

It whispers in your ear

I am yours
and you are mine

Stop fighting it

Silence the noise

Quiet the critic

Breathe 123
and write!


Amberley Charlotte ©2023
Photo Cred: Marika Vinkmann

Intuitive Photo Series #2 My Best Friend

My Best Friend

Protector
Confidant
Secret keeper

You stole my heart
and made
everything right in the world

From putting you in strollers
to dressing you in clothes
You never complained

Your beautiful eyes
stared at me
A promise to love me
always

Cheeky monkey
Companion
Comforter
Bed hog

You we’re my love
My heartbeat
My best friend


Amberley Charlotte ©2023
Photo Cred: Linda Jucker

Intuitive Photo Series #1: Shelter


Welcome to my Intuitive Photo Series Challenge.

When I look at photos, I see, feel, hear, smell, and sometimes taste poems or stories. They’re not always stories that are obvious, but they are very real to me, and I feel them in a very real and physical way.

In this series, I will be receiving everyday photos from friends & family and challenging myself to write whatever comes to me.

This challenge is very intuitive and automatic. I won’t be outlining or planning anything. I will not make corrections or edits to the prose in any way. I will rely solely on my intuition and write what comes from looking at the photo.

This photo came from Susan Del Moore Photography
Thank you, Susan, for the photo. I hope you enjoy the poem.

Shelter


Strength
Power
Resilience

What lies beneath?
The roots of a living
breathing
soul

What secrets are you keeping?
How many lives have you saved?

Nurturer
Rescuer
Protector to some
Enemy to others

A world below the water’s edge
How deep can you go?
How far do you travel?

A web of lies
Intertwined
Entangled

And the truth
is found
in the stillness

Safe yet
mysterious

Who hides in the shadows
the soil
the water?

You have been given
great strength
power
and resilience

You are shelter
You are a refuge
You are home


Amberley Charlotte ©2023
Photo Cred:
Susan Del Moore Photography

She waits

She waits

Staring at
what could be

She waits for
a sound
a smell
a feeling

She’s hopeful

She’s never
discouraged

She knows
one day
what she’s seeking
will come

So
she waits….

Amberley Charlotte ©2023
Photo Cred: Willgard Krause

20 Years Cancer Free

Twenty years ago today, I had my last chemotherapy session for a highly aggressive form of Triple Negative Breast Cancer, and they told me I was cancer free!

Because it was so aggressive and rare, there was no standard treatment plan. They said that had I waited to go to the Dr., I would have been dead in 6 months.

We decided on an aggressive surgical plan, and my oncologist gave me the chemo cocktail he hoped would help, and we waited.

I lived with the threat that it could come back at any time in the brain, liver, bones, or lungs.

There were always markers I needed to hit.
First, it was five years, then it was ten, and at ten years, they moved it again, saying this cancer is still rare, people are still dying, they still have no idea how I got it, and although they’re learning about it, now I needed to get to 20 years to really be free.

Along the way, there have been more tumors and multiple surgeries, all with a cancer scare, all coming back clear.

Anytime I tell a doctor I’ve beat this type of cancer, they look at me like I’m a ghost. When they gave me Covid vaccines, the nurses cried. They couldn’t believe I was still alive.

My blessed life is not lost on me. I am forever grateful for every struggle, every pain, and every gift of another day.

I still can’t believe I have this beautiful family. I’ve had so many wild and crazy experiences, extreme lows, and unbelievable highs, but here I am!

I made it to 20 freaking years, baby!!

So today, this is my gift to you.

Share your joy every day!

Focus on the light in your life, not the darkness.
There will be struggles, but right behind them are blessings.
Don’t quit 5 minutes before the miracle happens.

If you’re scared, cry it out.
If you need someone to talk to, reach out.
If you’re lost, write it out.
If panic sets in, wait it out. It will pass.
You will feel like shit in the process, but I guarantee you it will pass, and then reach out.

Find somebody to talk to.
Find somebody who will listen.
Find somebody you trust.
You don’t have to do this life alone.

We have no idea how long we’re here, but we can be a light in someone’s darkness, create a beautiful life for ourselves, stretch ourselves beyond our wildest capabilities, become who we never thought we could be, and experience life in ways we never thought possible.

At the end of the day, life is what we make it.
Our experiences make us who we are.
Our courage and strength help us survive it.

Life is hard.
But we are stronger.

Thank you, Divine Spirit, for giving me this time with my family.
I am asking for at least 35 more!

I promise I will make good use of the time and the lessons!

Blessings,

Amberley Charlotte

I Can Feel You Breathe

I can feel you breathe

Shivers up my spine
I gasp
then
sigh

It’s you

Your strength
when the wind
blows

Your power
when the rain
falls

Your roots
dig deep
into my soul

Grounding me
Comforting me
Empowering me

Energy rushing
through my veins

I’m beginning
to feel
alive
again

Life-giver
Oxygen supplier

Natures
shelter
protection
heart
and soul

Inhale
exhale
and again

I can feel you breathe


Amberley Charlotte ©2022
Photo: Stefan Keller Pics

A Journey

Hearts fluttering
Body tingling

Sunshine
warms
my soul

Heart-stopping

Out of body
looking through a
window

I’m chasing
you

I’ll find
you

I want
to be
here
forever

Heartwarming
Tingling legs

White light
carrys me home

Learn who you are
my child

See what we see

Open-hearted
Magical
Mystical
You

Amberley Charlotte ©2022
Photo: Stefan Widua

Seeking Me!

Wounded
Seeking peace
Seeking harmony
Seeking self

Lost
Wandering the caverns
of my heart
Seeking light
Seeking comfort

Seeking
Seeking
Seeking

A journey to my soul
Seeking courage
Seeking Hope
Seeking freedom

From all that weighs me down
From all the doubt
From all the fear
From all the uncertainty

Seeking honesty
Seeking truth
Seeking Me!

Amberley Charlotte @2022
Photo: Daniele Franchi